KATHY'S KORNER

As the air cools, and fires begin in their “places,” leaves change color and hit the ground, and sweaters are taken out of storage, it reminds me of the circle of life. If you look at a tree, imagine the brilliance of it’s buds-leaves-barren-buds cycle! I marvel at nature’s beauty this time of year, with a renewed faith and calmness that accompanies each fallen leaf.

You may be interested to know that my latest mantra is this: “It’s not your fault.” Let me explain….

Computers. We love them, we can’t stand them! I’m a technology junkie, and I am very dependent on my hardware and software, and when they don’t work correctly, it’s unnerving! I took my computer into the computer store for a $10 replacement item, only to find out that, between my home and the store, the “mother board” fried! How could that be? So, after much thought and internal debate, I chose to buy an entirely new computer! After all, this one is 5 years old, which, in computer years, is ANCENT! (Remember….can’t live with out it…..?)

To make a long story short, I’ve had to take this NEW computer back to the computer store three times! Yes, 3 times!! During my last return, the salesman was very apologetic—up one side and down the other—and all I said to him was this...... “It’s not your fault.” Because it truly wasn’t his fault. He didn’t build the machine, he didn’t intentionally create this frustration in my life. So as he marveled at my patience and kind words, I told him this: “Saying this is not only a gift to YOU, it’s a gift to MYSELF!”

Those simple words ("It's not your fault") have the amazing ability to free you from the anger that can potentially build, and it releases the need to blame. As I’m growing older (and, yes, still growing!), I am learning to look at people’s intentions. If someone is intending to hurt you, that’s one thing. But most of the time, I am finding, that people usually don’t “intend” to do harm, they simply aren't aware how their actions or words are impacting others. So if I can look past the wall of blame, and hook into people’s intentions, I find that I become a much more tolerant person.

So I wish you this Autumn, a bright palette of warmth and love, and I hope you, too, can adopt the “You didn’t mean to” attitude. I promise, it will hug you with peace….